Update

Alrighty, time for an update.

Over the weekend, I actually talked to a lady I didn't know. My boss connected me with her (again, I'm really thankful to her and for her!)and after emailing this lady last week she gave me her number and told me to call her. This lady teaches a teen sunday school class and a lot of teen girls in her class wind up pregnant (this town has a very high rate of teen pregnancy). She knows of a current situation right now where a high school senior is pregnant with a baby girl and is due in a couple of months. The birth father is out of the picture and her parents are not going to support her. The lady told me that at first she was all for adopting but now, ever since her mom said she will not be supporting her, she is wanting to raise the baby herself now in a way to rebel against her mom. This young girl keeps going back and forth with her decision. I have a feeling she will probably keep the baby. Anyways, this sunday school teacher is going to keep me in her mind if the girl (who talks to her sunday school teacher often about her situation) decides adoption is the way to go for her.

Today I met with the executive director at a local women's resource center. It was an odd sort of meeting but very neat at the same time. I was really comfortable with her and she is such a sweet Christian lady. I feel like I kind of got a mixed response from her but I think that is because legally she can't say, "Oh, we will have a baby for you at the center so go with us." She encouraged with me to possibly pursue an agency but at the same time she said I need to make an adoption profile as soon as possible and drop it off at the center to her. I kind of felt like I god "mixed signals" from her but like I said, it's probably because it's a resource center and they are not there to adopt babies out. This one in particular helps with that (they do maybe one adoption per year) but I think they really like to see the young women try to parent the children themselves. Who knows. All I know is I am going to be making an adoption profile this week and dropping it off at the center. I'm also going to be submitting paper work at an agency to start a home study. I debated whether or not to do it through the agency...I was going to do it through a place that strictly does homestudies and they do them pretty quickly...but if we do decide later on to go through the agency then you actually have to have a home study done through them...so I would have to pay for a whole different home study if I didn't do a home study with them right away. Okay, I know that probably made no sense whatsoever.

In case an independent adoption works out for us (which, I pray it does), we want to be ready. Plus, I feel like we need a nursery ready for a home study (you have to show that you have a place for the baby to sleep). Kyle picked up some paint swatches today from Home Depot and tonight we will be deciding which color to go with. We are also going to be deciding on a crib/furniture this weekend. I know to the general public (meaning, people who are not familiar with adoption) it might seem like we are getting ahead of ourselves with this whole nursery business, but with an adoption you really do have to be ready at a moment's notice in some cases. You always need to be prepared. I don't know if we are going to get a baby in two months or two years but whenever we do we will be ready.

My parents are really excited about us starting the adoption journey. It makes me feel good that they ask me questions constantly. I think after I talked to my mom about it this past weekend she could really see into my heart and see it in my eyes how serious and passionate we are about adoption. After she asked me again if the doctor has said if I will never have children (no, he has not ever said that!) I politely explained that while he never said that, he said there is no reason I shouldn't already be pregnant. I told her while there is a chance I could always get pregnant, I don't even think about that anymore. I can say that with an honest heart. I don't think about getting pregnant or being pregnant. I think about adopting. I know in my heart this is the right way to go. I am so excited and so anxious to start all of this.

I am just really kind of nervous about the adoption profile. I've seen some examples of adoption profiles and the resource lady actually gave me some suggestions today. I guess I am just afraid that my pictures aren't good enough and the words I write will not be sufficient enough.