By His Grace

Have you ever seen someone's name somewhere and had a feeling of dread mixed with panic come over you?

Next week I am going to a breakfast that will be semi work related. As I was reading about the breakfast and glancing over the information a name suddenly caught my eye. There will be two doctors speaking at the breakfast next week and one just happens to be the doctor who told me last year that she was confused about my ultrasound results. She is the doctor who had the receoptionist call me in last summer to do more blood work when in reality they just wanted me to come in so she could tell me I was probably going to be miscarrying my baby (and because of this deceitfulness of her nature I went to the appointment by myself since I was just "getting blood work done"). This is the doctor whose name I cringe at whenever I hear it or whenever I pass by her co-owned practice...the practice I left immediately after that horrible day (the only reason I went to the practice in the first place was because of its location. I remember my mom begging me, once I told her I was pregnant, to switch practices).

This particular doctor will be one of two speakers next week. While I know she doesn't remember me and has forgotten me and my situation, I dread having to hear her speak and smile politely if I am introduced to her. I'm sure she's a nice lady. I know she's very well educated in the medical field. I know doctors need to tell patients the truth about medical issues. I just have a problem with people who have absolutely no tact. I also cannot stand it when people lie. I fully believe this doctor lied to me (well, had the receptionist and nurses lie to me). I want to run up to her next week and say, "I hope you aren't deceitful to all of your patients. I hope you don't tell them all some story about keeping the hope alive and how there is a small chance, by the grace of God, that they might not miscarry... when you have just told them that their baby is dying inside of them. I hope you don't have the receptionist and nurses lie to all of your patients when something is wrong to "lure" them into the practice just so they can find out that the reason they thought they were coming was just a cover up as to not have them upset." I would have much rather known that something was wrong (even though I did feel it in my heart as soon as I was told I was pregnant) over the phone so I could have my husband or just someone there for support and to drive me home.

I guess I went off on a tangent. I'm sure I won't even have to speak to her next week but it still brings back all of those memories of sitting in her office. This will be interesting.