Forgive my last post formating - this blog site changed on me and I had no idea my paragraphs were not formatting correctly.
So, Penny will definitely not be getting an irish twin. My body was not miscarrying naturally like it did three years ago, so I had to have surgery the Friday before Mother's Day (as I was typing this the doctor who did my surgery just called to check on me...he was really worried about me since he had heard about my not so wonderful recovery...that was really nice). The day before the surgery I had them do two more ultrasounds just to make extra sure. I was 10 weeks and Penny would have had an irish twin (meaning less than a year apart - they would have been 10 months apart).
I did/am doing great emotionally (much different than my first miscarriage), but last week I had a very rough week physically. I ended up having contractions and labor even though there was nothing there and couldn't stop sweating. Weird and ouch. I probably looked like a fool! Yesterday I started feeling like my normal self again - no more pain! It still bums me out that it is going to be challenging for Penny to have a sibling, no matter the way that sibling(s) come(s) to our family. We are going to try to network for our next adoption, but if that doesn't work out we are wanting to look into adopting from foster care (actually, let me re-word that...whether networking works or not for us, we definitely want to adopt from foster care). This makes me very excited! So, we will start looking into that in probably a year or two. Until then, we are always open to situations that come our way through networking (our home and family will always be open!). I just love adoption.
Okay, so let's talk about the most important thing....FINALIZATION! Penny's finalization was last Thursday. Man oh man, it was seriously the best day of our lives. Meeting Penny was the best day of my life and is still right there with finalization, but considering everything we have been through in our adoption journey, her finalization just is off the charts. I cannot even begin to describe the feelings of excitement and emotions going into that day. When I stepped into that courtroom I thought my mouth was going to break from smiling so much! I was so happy I could not get that big smile off of my face. During my testimony I kept looking down at my daughter who was sleeping in our arms and I was trying not to cry (happy tears, of course). I finally couldn't hold my tears of joy inside any longer and on the last couple of questions I started bawling (thankfully you cannot really tell on the video tape that I was crying a lot). I am the type of person that, while I may be emotional, I do not cry in public. It's probably because I can be a little shy. I can only think of three times in the past year and a half of our adoption journey (including this finalization) where I have cried in front of people. I always feel like I need to be strong for others around me. But heck, it was my daughter's finalization...bring on the public tears! When the attorney asked me why we wanted to adopt Penny, I made it through except on the last sentence. My voice started cracking and then when I said, "I just love her so much." is when I started crying and then when he asked me if it was the happiest day of my life I could only shake my head because I was crying so hard. I told Kyle after we got back home that I wish when the judge granted the adoption we would have held hands, stood up, and started jumping up and down and shouting praises to God and declaring our love for Penny. I would have even loved to have jumped on the table we were sitting at and started doing a happy dance! Actually, it would have been really fun and neat if we held Penny up like Mufassa does with Simba at the beginning of The Lion Kind for all of the land to see his newborn son. That is what I felt like doing and honestly, I'm sure that nice judge would not have had a problem with it. Oh well, at least I did all of that in my head. It was such a special day. At the end when the judge granted the adoption and made us an "official" family (which, we have been an official family from the beginning, but you know what I mean), I had feelings of peace, love, joy, etc. come over me and I couldn't stop kissing Penny's sweet face. It makes me cry right now just thinking about that day and how much it meant to our little family. Penny means so much to us and is such a special little girl, I love her with all of my heart and am so blessed to me her mom.
I wish everyone would choose to experience the awesome gift of adoption. Praise be to our God who is truly awesome in power! I can say without a doubt, even in the hard times, even when we don't know what the heck is going on our what is going to happen next...God knows and has a plan for everything.
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