Finalization is right around the corner!

I've been so busy I rarely have time to watch television much less write. However, there have been a couple of exciting things that have happened and are happening so I will report those first. Last Friday was my last day working at the university where I worked for almost five years. Before that I went to school there for four years. I loved that university - I love the place, the town, the people, and I actually loved my job. I really love everything about it. That place is like no other and it has such a commnity feel to it - it truly is a family. However, I was offered a full-time job transcribing documents from home, which means being a work-from-home mom (it seems like many people don't understand that I'm actually working full-time from home). I get to see Penny whenever I want to, take lunch breaks with her, go on walks whenever we want to whether it be in the morning, afternoon, or during the evening. It's great. We went through way too much to meet our Penny and while I will miss my friends at work (I'll still see them, though!), the loving community, paid vacations and paid time off, all of the sacrifices are worth it to be with Penny. God has truly blessed us with Penny and my love for her cannot be put in to words. The second exciting happening around here is that we will be traveling back to Florida next week for one last time (well, until whenever us Disney fantatics save up for a trip to Disney! What I mean is one last time to the agency.). Next Thursday will my first time in a court room answering questions before a judge and I could not be more excited. We are finalizing Penelope's adoption next Thursday! I am so excited that I just keep envisioning it in my head. We will be video taping it and taking pictures with the judge and I just feel like I am getting ready to win millions of dollars...except this is much, much better than winning any amount of money! We have known from day one that Penny is our daughter - the first moment I saw her is such a precious memory for me. Everythning really has fallen into place ever since God led us to Penny. Going to court is just for the legal aspect of it, but I am just so excited because now when people ask me if "everthing is okay" with her adoption (referring back to the adoptions that failed), I can answer with a smile and a yes and move on. It's funny that I am so excited to get her birth certificate in the mail in a couple of months...I think non-adoptive parents sometimes take simple things like documents for granted (they don't really have to think about documents and that is okay, I'm not condemning at all). Anyway, it is going to be a glorious day and I just wish that we were finalizing in Georgia so all of our family and friends can attend this momentous occasion. I cry tears of joy every time I think about finalization and how far we have come. Something else has happened in our household that was exciting, but just wasn't meant to be. I actually found out about five or so weeks ago that I am pregnant. Yes, it was a complete shock, but definitely not a mistake. No child is a mistake and it was a shock in the best of ways. We kept our mouths shut about the pregnancy and planned to surprise everyone on Mother's Day with the exciting news. We had even planned to incorporate Penny and get her a shirt that says Big Sister and tell our families that way. I actually saw and heard the heartbeat a couple of weeks ago. Last Friday after I got off of work (my last day working at the university) I just knew something was wrong. Spending four hours at the doctor and having three ultrasounds confirmed there was no logner a heart beat. They offered me options and procedures to go ahead and get the baby out of me, but I am choosing to miscarry naturally once again. The scary part about it is that I don't know when it's going to happen...I just know more than likely it will happen within the next few weeks. I am sad about the loss of a human life and I am really sad that it is not going to be easy for Penny to have a sibling, whether through adoption or biologically. We probably won't be able to adopt again for a few years, but as we know and as we have learned - God is thankfully in control of our lives and our future and he already has everything planned out. God is good all the time!