8 months ago today I was told the happiest news that I've been dreaming about for so long: "M, you're pregnant!" I've been dreaming about the day I would become a mother since I was 7 years old. I know that sounds silly but it is true.
This month is when I would have been due with our baby. It really hit me hard last night. I am so sad and I feel like this sadness is running through my entire body. My head has been hurting so badly since last night. I just want to hold my baby. I just want my husband and I to be able to hold and love our baby - our baby that left my body when we were in a hotel room on vacation this past summer. A baby that I only knew for two weeks but made me the happiest person in the world for those two weeks. A baby that my husband and I sobbed for hours over once we found out we were losing him/her. Devastation has completely taken over my heart and mind. I feel so selfish being so upset about this but I cannot help it. I want my baby so badly. I keep picturing myself and K holding our sweet miracle in our arms and just "oohing" and "aahing" and smiling at our precious gift. My heart is literally hurting inside of me right now. I feel like my heart is crying.
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