I've been in a really bad mood these past two days and I don't know why. At first I thought maybe it's because Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday and I am still not yet a mother...but honestly I don't think that's it. My sister is on a vacation so my niece is staying the weekend with us so I know she will keep my thoughts preoccupied! She stayed with us last Mother's Day weekend as well and we had a blast. I can't wait until she arrives at our house because then I know my weird mood will go away. This will be the 4th year that I host my family's annual Mother's Day get together at my house and I am looking forward to celebrating our moms.
I think maybe my paranoia about our match is making me a bit frustrated and crazy. It's also making me emotional where I tear up and cry easily just thinking about everything. I am very grateful for our match and I'm still trying to allow myself to be excited but it's hard when all I feel is scared and nervous. All of those fears of what happened with the last match just keep coming back. I know it's normal to be fearful but this fear has been driving me absolutely crazy for the past couple of days. I keep praying that God will calm my heart on this. I know this is where I need to take a deep breath and just put my trust in Him completely. I need to trust that this is God's will and that this is our baby so I need to just stop thinking negatively. Our birthmom is exactly halfway through her pregnancy now so we still have half way to go. Kyle and I will be going to visit her in June so that will be an exciting time. I hope to get to talk to her on a conference call before then.
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